2019 Did Not Break Me

You know those years that life hands you the lemons, throws you that curveball or you hit that bump on the road that you didn’t expect? That was my life this past year. The thing is, we all have those years- we just never know when they will happen or what the circumstance may be. I heard the quote “2019 didn’t break me, it only made me stronger” somewhere and that is truly my motto for 2019.

It’s crazy how you can be going through life as you normally know it, and then all of a sudden the scenery looks different. You get the call, the bad news, or the series of events that leads to crisis mode eventually. You aren’t moving forward anymore, you feel like time has literally frozen. It seems like everyone else’s life is going on per usual, but yours is not. You can’t quite make plans because some weeks are very unknown. You can’t look ahead because the road isn’t clear with too many unknowns, and your normal routine is totally off. It’s living in crisis mode and you feel isolated and lonely because you are the only one that understands your new reality. People check in here and there to see how you are doing or how they can help, and you have no idea what to tell them because you are taking it hour by hour, day by day. You are just doing what you have to do to survive and keep some sense of normalcy for your kids, and yourself whenever possible.

I have been there for friends during a season of hard. I have been in a season of hard before too, but it has been over 20 years. The thing about life is that we will all experience seasons of hard- some more than others maybe, some will be spread out, some will happen consecutively. They all look different— from the failed marriages, to the diagnosis, or the sick loved one to take care of, or the miscarriage, or the death, and the list goes on. Life surely is NOT fair. But when your season of not fair is upon you, what you can do to get through it is BE GOOD TO YOU.

During my season of hard, I still worked out six days a week. Some may think that’s absurd, but it was literally the one thing that got me out of bed and moving each day. Once my body started moving in the workout, I felt my the emotions leaving me a bit, the focus coming back in, the endorphins helping my mood, and when I was done….I was reminded that I could do HARD THINGS because that 30-40 minute session was hard. It’s crazy how just a simple thing in your routine can help your mindset, and yes my body needed that outlet too. When I had my hard season over 20 some years ago, self-care was not on my list. I suffered because of it. My season of hard took me years to get over. This time? I put self-care at the top of the list, even if it looked slightly different– I fought for me each day so that I could be STRONG for the situation and the person that needed me to be STRONG FOR THEM.

So just remember that when someone else needs you, you have to work on being strong. And even if the thing is happening to YOU directly, you need to be strong for you too. I don’t want to know what life would have looked like this year if I didn’t take care of me. My kids needed me during this time, my husband needed me present during this time. Sure I felt like I wasn’t the best Mom or wife at times when my mind was elsewhere a lot of weeks, or I was physically gone more— but I did the best I could. I tried to keep my home life as normal as possible, and my workouts were my saving grace to remind me that I am strong, and that I CAN get through tough seasons. And you know what?? 2019 didn’t break me, it only made me stronger.

As I enter 2020, I have a new focus. I let go of the things that don’t serve me, as I had to in that season of hard. So I have a different perspective this year. Sometimes the seasons of hard give you new perspective, as a matter of fact they always do.

So here’s hoping that you don’t experience a season of hard, but if you do– do the things to keep you strong mentally and physically so you come out stronger, and then it’s your time to be there for others during their season of hard.

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